Fate
by ashley-chan
Summary: Shinji/Asuka. This takes place at the End of Evangelion! Asukas POV. *Please* review!! ^_^


-Title- Fate  
  
-Disclaimer- I do not own Evangelion (too bad...) so please don`t sue me.  
  
-Spoilers- This takes place at the End of Evangelion.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I lay there, seeing the black sky and the red sea, moving in rythm with my heart. Was that my heart or was it of another being? I can hardly tell anymore, my body hurts so much... the pain is almost unbearable.  
  
What can I say? I almost died...Wait, I DID die. I deserved to die, so why am I here? My momma was watching over me and I failed her. I let my guard down, and allowed them to rape my mind...my heart. I am such a coward.... I should be dead.  
  
My memories are pretty much messed up. I can't remember much, no matter how hard I try. What I do remember is that I fought with all I had but it just wasn't enough. *He* didn't come to save me. He was probrably watching me die, curled up in a corner somewhere. Such a weakling, but....he needs me.  
  
Shinji needs me.  
  
Do I need him? Do I even want to help him? He says that I am the only one that could really help him, but is that the truth? Or does he just need a hand, some comfort, from anyone, to survive? I'm so confused. The first time I saw him, I saw...a hurt child.  
  
I always envied his...gift of piloting the Eva. After all, I'm the one that should be getting the pat on the back not the Third Child. But in a way, I loved his shyness, his innocence. I loved him...  
  
Love, that's a new one for me. I thought I loved Kaji, but I was wrong. Kaji loves Misato, not me. He was just a crush for me, a way to hide the fear I had of being loved. I don't deserve to be loved....But that doesn't matter now, everyone is dead.  
  
Death. I'm alive? I'm dead? I'm alone? I'm scared? Life.  
  
Suddenly my thoughts were cut short as I heard a faint rustling besides me. I don't even bother to look at the source of the sound. I know who it is, I have felt his pressence many times. Then my eyes widen as he gets on top of me, and grabs my throat roughly.  
  
It hurts.  
  
He's hurting me.  
  
He needs me and I am so foolish that I cannot give him the help he truly needs. Does that mean that I should die by his hand? If he kills me, he shall be alone, and sooner or later he will die of loneliness.  
  
What happened to the nine v.5.0 series Evas? Did they survive? They were so strong too, I thought I would go out of my mind when the lance went through my eyes. Then, as if that wasn't enough for them, they fell upon me and tore me limb by limb.  
  
Shit, Shinji is killing me.  
  
I never thought it would come to this. I guess he is more fragile than I thought. I thought that if I stayed away from him, I wouldn't infect him with my pain and loneliness. I thought he would be better off without me. After all, he doesn't need me, he needs himself.  
  
I'm so scared.  
  
My breaths are coming shorter now and I feel my life slipping through his hands. How could this be happening? Do I deserve this, God? Do I deserve to die by the hand that claims to need me and only me?  
  
I can hardly think anymore. My soul left my body when my momma died. What could I do but cry and shut myself out from the world? My mother was the most important thing in my life and she was taken from me.  
  
Funny. I'm dying by the hand of the man I love.  
  
Yes, love, you heard right. I love Shinji Ikari. As much as I hate him, I love him.  
  
In fact, I love him so much that I hate him. And it seems as though he feels the same way. He doesn't know wether to kill me or kiss me. I wonder if anything will be normal again? Will Misato, Ritsuko and the others come back, or will it just be us?  
  
Just us, huh? How ironic. I always thought Rei would be the one in this position. After all, she was always the one that seemed to end up with him.  
  
Rei, wonder girl. I smile inwardly as I think of her. She was always everyones favorite. Was she also Shinji's favorite? I hope not.  
  
It hurts more than ever now. I'm just thinking in circles again. His hold tightens, and he's using all his strenght now. My body feels as if it has been ripped in half. And then I look into his eyes. Those eyes full of unshed tears, fear and confusion. He's scared....as always.  
  
So I decide to do what I hope is the right choice. I muster all my strenght in my hand and lift it towards his trembling frame. I can feel his control slipping, and hope surges in my heart for the first time in many years. I have hope to save him.  
  
I want to save my Shinji.  
  
Something wet hits my face, and I see him crying.  
  
Tracing my hand on his cheek, I keep my face emotionless, though my eyes say everything there needs to be said. He seems to see this, for his sniffels soon turn to wails as he lets my neck free.  
  
I saw his vulnerability at that moment. He was just a scared child who simply wanted my love. My love and nothing more. What else could I do but grant his wishes? I tried to smile at him, but it turned into a grimace of pain.  
  
So I say the only thing that came to my mind at that moment. I decided to share everything with him. How can I say what I'm feeling and let him understand?  
  
"I feel terrible."  
  
There I realize that Shinji and I were the two beings on Earth that shall make mankind once again. Build a society full of love and hard work. I suddenly smile, seeing who we resemble. The two lovers who's love won in the end.  
  
Adam and Eve.  
  
Shinji and Asuka.  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N: Well, what did you think? Too sad, too dramatic, too good? ^_^; Please review!!!! I would appreciate any feedback, and it'd be nice to know if anyone likes my work!! Ja ne! 


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